So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Randomize
