You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
