I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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