Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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