she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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