I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize