I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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