yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He shit in the fireplace
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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