Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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