no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
