I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
