I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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