She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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