He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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