He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
