Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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