Tell her she can't have a vagina
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
