Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
