Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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