Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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