He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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