4 words: hood of his car
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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