is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
