where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
