I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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