We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
