I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
