apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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