I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
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That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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