I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I could make wine with my vomit
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The struggles of a small town man whore
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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