Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Randomize
