The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
