It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize