Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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