so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
