The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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