Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
