all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Two words: nipple clamps
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