the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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