i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
