Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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