I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
