You're so nebulous sometimes
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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