I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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