OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Mom said you looked used
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
