My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
