I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize