White coat. Heels.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
