I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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