Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
