This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
