Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
