Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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