The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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