dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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