She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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