is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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