Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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