it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
