gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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