I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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