bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
