i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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