"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
