New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
