Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
