walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm like, not good at living.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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