Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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